Tuesday, October 09, 2007

hello again

so....I'm back, atleast for today. My excuse for not blogging is simple--exercise. For the first time since high schooly I've been exercising consistently for 6 weeks now, but that's only b/c my running buddy Amy is forcing me to run a marathon with her. I know millions of normal people exercise regularly and live balanced lives but running makes me really hungry and lots of food makes me happy and sleepy. So that's been my pattern for the last few weeks--run, eat, smile, sleep, eat, smile, eat, smile sleep, repeat. There are so many things I want to blog about, our summer trip, Heidi's arrival, my whole blogging fam, my funky girls etc... I'm just going to have to work my way back slowly and more consistently. Thanks to all those who have been checking while I've been out.

how to brainwash the kiddies

I think I've finally got a handle on this parenting thing.
Maybe it's a little premature to say, but ever since I started brainwashing the girls parenting has become relatively easy and stress free. I can't be certain until the girls are full-grown, but I believe my method will take care of any problems we face in the future as well. Maybe I've discovered the parenting "secret." It'd be great if I ended up making millions by writing a long-winded book and making a cheesey video about my new found tactics. I'm pretty sure Einstein, Homer Simpson, and Galileo used some of the same methods on their children. But before I hit up Simon and Schuster with my big idea I thought I'd throw out a blog to see if other parents have used brainwashing and if they find it effective.

So here are my brainwashing 101 basics:

Spy on your kido. Listen in on a conversation. Talk to one of their friend's parents or their teacher. Find out something that they don't know you know.

Hold on to your little precious nugget of info until the context is right. It's best to pick a moment when the child is happily telling you about something that has something to do with your piece of info. The goal is to get your child to say, "How did YOU know that?"

3rd--SEIZE and MOLD
Here's the crucial moment. After the, "How did YOU know that?" you have to calmly and confidently say, "sweety, your mother knows everything and she always will." I think the key is finding as many situations as possible where you get to reinforce your omniscience. So repeat steps 1 through 3 as many times as possible.

It's so easy and fun, every parent should try it.

What brainwashed children look like...